Admit it, when you think about your ideal woman, you’re probably thinking about some hot hard-bodied supermodel with wide hips and a huge rack. And more often than not, she probably has full use of all her limbs and senses. But come on people, it’s 2018. Isn’t it high time that we adapt our prejudice to include the disabled? In the age of microchips and fancy gadgets, a missing leg is little more than an excuse and an opportunity to give a person robot limbs. It’s awesome. And if you can’t see past these minor flaws, you’re kind of an idiot. So without further ado, here it is: why you should consider adding disabled women to your dating pool.
Having a disability is probably a real fucking bitch. Hell, most people moan and complain endlessly about having the flu. Imagine if they had the flu, but forever? Adapting to that situation seems like an impossible task. But if it has to be done, a woman will do it far better than any man ever could. When it comes to making the best of a bum deal, women always seem to come out on top. Dating a woman with a disability means getting involved with a person who probably keeps a pretty goddamn positive attitude. Nothing gets a woman going like telling them they can’t do something.
We live in a world where a man with no legs can literally win a footrace. So why the hell would you think a woman with no legs can’t totally rock your fucking world? The beautiful thing about the 21st century is that accidents are very easily fixable. We live in a universe where parts of your body can be replaced at the drop of a hat. Hell, give it 50 years we’ll be fixing broken hearts with a bit of motor oil and a hydraulic pump. Prosthetic limbs are all the rage these days. Medical professionals can make a prosthesis for almost anything. So don’t count out Sally Slutbag just because she needs a bit of help to start a round of applause.
Sitting in a chair all day doesn’t detract from a person’s physical beauty. You can have a full-figured woman with rockin’ tits and a tight little core—even if she can’t walk. They can do anything able-bodied women can do. Their chairs fold up, they’re fully mobile and probably have a pretty fucking good sense of humour. Hard times create wonderful personalities. Do yourself a favour and don’t count anyone out just because your house isn’t wheelchair accessible.
You were lucky. You were born with perfect vision, hearing and sense of taste–right? Well, not everybody was. The big problem with millennials is that they rarely see beyond the surface (pun intended). The fact of the matter is, blind chicks can be hot. Same goes for deaf women, mutes and everything in between. A simple lack of sense doesn’t make someone any less attractive. Remember guys, blind chicks see with their hands. Let that sink in for a moment. In other words, she might grab your cock a little earlier than expected. Lacking a sense makes a person friendlier and more open to new experiences. So don’t miss your shot with someone great.
One of the biggest problems in 21st-century dating is that everyone is looking for absolute perfection. Well, guess what kids, life isn’t fucking perfect. And you better believe that crazy psycho popping 3 Xanax a night isn’t perfect either. In other words, sometimes it’s the small imperfections that make a person so drop dead gorgeous. Sure, in this case, it’s a gimped knee or a lazy eye, but that’s not the point. In the event that you do find that special someone with one arm or speech impediment, basque in their imperfections. Besides, think of the positions you can get into with a girl who has no feeling in her legs.
Warning: this is about to be horrible. Think about it. Disabled women–and probably also men–don’t get the same attention as your regular run-of-the-mill hottie. When they finally get a bite, the excitement is palpable. Men, think about it this way: imagine every time your sorry ass couldn’t get laid for months at. How horny were you? What would you have done to get your dong in a little bit of downtown strange? Exactly, every nasty little thing your partner asked you to do. Try it out. You can thank us later.
We here at The Chalkdown are advocates for equality. We find ableists to be disgusting and cruel. Get out there and find yourself a grade-A, world class, wheelchair hottie.