About Us

Welcome to The Chalkdown! Congratulations, you’re a sick person!

The Chalkdown is a place where we, a bunch of very-terrible misfits, answer questions that you, the inquiring mind, have asked. We answer any questions related to people, places or things we’re experts in: Food, Lifestyle Questions, Life At Work, and ‘Unmentionables‘ (we don’t want to speak on them in our About Us Page). Anything and everything is fair game. As long as the wasteland known as the Internet wants to know.

There are several important things to note:

  • Fundamentally, our goal is to accurately answer any inquiries that come our way. Do we always achieve this? Undecided.
  • Contrary to popular belief, our writers are experts in what they write about. We like to think of our authors as having PhD’s in alcoholism, effective swearing and yo-momma-so-fat jokes. If their contributions are garbage, bahhhh-bye.
  • We define our worth in today’s society by how effectively we can shit-disturb. This is categorically different from ‘trolling’. We are not trolls. Ok, maybe some of us. Most of us are not though.
  • We purposefully avoid being politically correct.
  • If you are offended, we win. But please make sure to come back to be reoffended so we can continue to profit off of you.
  • We promise to be as legitimate and non-BSey as possible…right up until we sell this venture for a huge amount of money.

If this flies for you, here’s a random-ass selection of articles to get you started:

Cottage party.
How to Have a Cottage Party
How to Poop at Work
A school stall for pooping at school.
How to Poop at School: College Edition